life story

i dont know when did the memories started to fill me in.
i remembered my dad offering me a ride to school in secondary and i always refused because i think motorcycle is so uncool on that days.
i remembered dad promised and he did booked a chalet on my 13th birthday.
i remembered dad found my cigarette in my bad and threatened to deduct my pocket money,
i remembered dad found my first tattoo and he asked me, " your ang kong real one right" and i gave him a please-dont-tell-mummy looks.
he didnt even confronted me to my mother.
i remembered how he made mummy so sad and disappointed in him because of money's issue,
i remembered dad usually sarong me to sleep when i always tell him, "papa i want to sleep le, good night!"

i dont remembered when i stopped giving him birthday cards on his birthday,
i dont remembered when i stopped saying i love you dad,
i dont remembered when i stopped saying good night to him.

i remembered it was midnight on 8th of may,
i was sleeping and someone came to knock on the door telling us dad was admitted to hospital.
he came passing my dad's wallet and ic.
dad was left with 200 bucks.
and the person was never seen again.

i cried and called my sisters.
mum was scolding," cried for what, i dont care even he died"

doctor told us that his blood vessel burst and led him to stroke.
the critical part of the brain was filled with blood clots.
it was very dangerous for them to operated on him.
and we got to prepare for the worst.

everyone went crazy.
mum fainted.
all the girls was crying.

i called LOVES, he came.

dad was stuck with so many pipes on him.
his hand was swollen.
he dont even looked like my dad.
i dont even recognised that he was my dad.

everyone take turned to look after him
one of the chee bye doctors transferred my dad from icu to normal ward.
and he got infected and this sped up his death.
the nurses there were not professional at all.
syringes and tissues throw everywhere.
my dad's swollen stomach not even one fucking dad's heart fails, no CPR is performed on him.

FUCK WHAT THE FUCK?
who will agreed on such conditions?
one is her dad, one is her husband.
i feel like slapping the doctor's face really hard.
so because my dad was gone case, you guys given up on him?
what makes you to be a doctor?
we paid for everything.
i suspected her degree or what so ever is from buying
i will laughed and celebrated if tis happened on you.
see whether you will make such agreement.

this lasted for 17 days.

have you everhad that feeling when someone dearest to you dying infront of you and you cant do anything?
but that hearbeat and bp were on and off,
he was waiting for something.
so my mum told him, "i will take care of your dad(my grandpa), dont worry. all of us will take care ourselves"
may told him, " i will take care of mummy and ah bee"
and he died.
dad's face changed from pink to purple.
even his lip was purple.

that was the day i lost my dad.

no more 50 bucks from him,
no more chalet from him,
no entertainment from him,
no more prank calls from him.

i love you dad.

-story ends-