#229

yes, i'm still blogging,
i couldn't get to sleep.

because i have tons of problems left unsolved.

i felt pity for A.
because he have much more problems than me.
it make me felt that i cant leave him,
when i see him almost cried yesterday, it made me feel that i'm useless because i cant do anything for him.
he doesnt have a wonderful birthday this year because the only sole breadwinner fell down.
i cant gave him what he want,
he have no birthday cake,
he was all along in hospital accompanying his mother.

many of my friends disapproved this r/s ,
but i still holding on,
but why cant you?
we quarrelled almost everyday,
i'm still not willing to give up, why?
you almost left with other girl and i'm still willing to be by your side,

why am i still holding on?
sometimes i think i'm really deserve all this,
because i gave in too much.
i truly loved and really want to be with you forever.
you make me want to be with you

but ,

where are you when i'm crying myself to sleep when thinking all the problems you gave me?
where are you when i need someone to lean on?

i will try to understand,
i will try to grow up,
i will try to give up,
i know there is a difference between try and must,
all i need is time.