i have been making alot of mistakes nowadays.
what the fuck is wrong with me?

Fucking Hell.
it 3.05am and i still not sleeping,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

i'm trying very hard to memorize the christmas carol,: The Twelve Day of Christmas"

On the first day of Christmas, My true love gave to me,
A Partridge in a pear tree~~~~

having steamboat with my beloved MJ khakis later on,
i'm gonna stop eating now and leave my empty stomach for the foods,

i drank a cup of milk just now and finally for goddess sake,
i felt full! FOR THE FUCKING FIRST TIME.
usually i will be whining that i'm hungry or what so ever.

i cant look forward for steamboat.
shit, i sensed my stomach is growling now.

P/S TPY KouFU's Laska YONG TAU FOO is FREAKING NICE
PP/SS TP is on 24th March 2010

will you ever know what i'm thinking?

am i just a girl who let people fuck around?
or am i really a PLK to all of you?


nobody ever cherish me,
nobody ever feels how i feel,
nobody take a notice on me.

i'm just a nobody in nobody's eyes.

aiya what so ever.
i'm just whining,

you never know what i'm thinking.
i'm not that good as what you think/see/look.

i'm a PLK.

#249

FILNALLY I'M SICK!~~~~~~~~~
i think is due to insufficent sleep

it always been like this.
standard one..
i have strong immune system but once i have continous insufficient hours of sleep
all the virus and bacteria will combined all in one like transformer and attacked me.

i'm having 38.2 degrees celsius fever and the doctor gave me so many medicines.

but still, 42 bucks doctor fees i still have to paid myself. nb,
sister was happened to come back home,
so i felt pampered by her only.
she is whining now saying " ah bee ah. sick Olready still use com. dont want to sleep ah"
LOL.

my medicines.

blocked nose can you go away?
i cant smelled foods now.
FOODS.
i think foods will be my best medicines,

#248

Alright~
i have been neglecting my blog so i decided to give a proper post about what am i doing recently.

i have been eating non stop nowadays and i think i grew heavier.
i haven been craving for foods especially supper.
my red tsunami had alr visited me and i shouldnt be eating that much.
i think my puberty is starting again.





went international sakura buffet to celebrated jie-fu's mum birthday at safra.
i took very lil of photos of what am i doing while eating because most of the times i busily euther fighting for foods or eating hungrily.







the aftermath.

i have not been zi-lian-ing for a period if time.
so i took tons of photos of myself to so called recover the loss of me.
HAHA.

WARNING:LARGE PICTURES CONTENT OF ME.

First, with the front camera.


i realised i have big nose siol!
trying to myself to act i'm thinking.

trying to force my eyes open. P/S i have small eyes.









smiling with teeth!~

see, i do have dimples.




my 38 sister driving





CAR WASHING.

i was very suaku. i didnt know that other that water, pile can stored foam bubble.



after math. my bf's car, LOL.
buy 4D ok? EVERYBODY HUAT AH/


after that, meet ong at ming's pub to find nicholas.
i took photos of myself again.


During work. last day of atrium


i just woke up. see i have big-small eyes.





i was really sad because it's the last day of atrium
i cant see my MATTHEW boy anymore):
i cant "bio" for handsome and cute guys,
i cant listen to christmas carol and see the performance by my MATTHEW boy again.
but MATTHEW isnt friendly, i smiled to his friends but he dont smiled at me.
ACT DAO only.
but I LIKE.
COOL SIOL!~~~

ROAR!
i wanna stop eating.
i'm eating chocolate from ENGLAND now.
that what my mother told me.
THIS ARE CO-CO-LAG from ENGKREN.

i need money

I'm so into lacey stuffs nowadays,

money money where are you?!

I WANT THE FACTS

why do we talk only about money?

MONEY MONEY MONEY IS ALL YOU WANT?

THEN WHAT FOR YOU GAVE BIRTH TO ME?
RATHER GAVE BIRTH TO MANY BUNDLES OF MONEY SUA.
NO WONDER YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU MUMMY
MUMMY MUMMY= MONEY MONEY

TO BE HURTFUL,
THE DAD THAT HE LEFT FOR YOU ARE FOR MY FURTHER STUDIES,
BUT DID I ASK YOU FOR ANY SINGLE CENTS WHEN I WAS TILL STUDYING WHEN DAD LEFT US?
NO I DIDNT,
I PAY FOR MY OWN POCKET MONEY, BILLS, , SHOPPING EVERYTHING!

NOW BECAUSE I DIDNT GAVE YOU MONTH ALLOWANCE YOU SAID I'M UNFILIAL?
GIVE MONEY= FILIAL?

OK, WHEN YOU ARE OLD, I DUMPED YOU INTO OLD FOLK'S AND GAVE YOU $1000 A MONTH.
I'M FUCKING FILIAL OK?

I DIDNT SEE DAD FOR FUCKING 6 MONTHS BEFORE HE DIED.
I RECEIVED A CALL FROM HIM 2 DAYS BEFORE HE DIED.
THAT ALL.
THE LAST TIME I SEE HIM IS THE DAY HE ADMITTED.
AFTER THAT NO MORE.

HE'S GONE FOREVER,

I WANT DAD.
I WANT HIM .
CAN YOU GIVE HIM BACK TO ME NOT?

I PROMISE I WILL BE BACK HOME EARLY AND I WONT TAKE A SINGLE CENTS FOR YOU ANYMORE.
I WILL BE GOOD, NO MORE ARGUING, BE HOME BY 12
I PROMISED.
DAD COME BACK TO MY SIDE PLEASE.
CAN YOU?
DAD WHERE ARE YOU?
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOT?
YOUR AH BEE IS FINDING FOR YOU.
SHE IS WAITING FOR YOU TO FETCH HER BACK
SHE IS LOST WITHOUT YOU.
I WILL BUY YOU YOUR FAV. FOODS EVERYDAY
I WILL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU WANT ME TO DO

WHERE ARE YOU?!!!!!!!!


WHEN EVERYONE IS BUYING PRESENT FOR FATHER'S DAY OR CELEBRATING THEIR FATHER'S BIRTHDAY,
WHERE AM I?
WHAT AM I DOING?

I M FUCKING FAILURE

THINGS WILL NOT TURN OUT THIS WAY IF HE IS STILL ALIVE.

IT DOESN'T MEAN I NEVER TALK ABOUT HIM MEANS I DONT MISS HIM
IT DOESN'T MEAN I DONT LOVE HIM WHEN I DIDNT SHED A SINGLE TEAR AT HIS FUNERAL
I DO I DO I DO OK?

I MISS HIM THAT WHY I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM
DO YOU KNOW I WAS HOLDING MY TEARS WHENEVER PEOPLE ASKED ME WHAT HAPPENED?
DO YOU KNOW I YEARN FOR DAD'S PRESENCE WHENEVER YOU GO MALAYSIA OR I WAS ALONE AT HOME?
WHENEVER HE QUARRELLED WITH YOU, HE WILL BE HOME FOR SURE IF YOU GO MALAYSIA, TO ACCOMPANY ME.
NOW I'M ALL ALONE YOU KNOW?

I REALLY REALLY DO MISS DAD.

MUMMY CAN YOU BE MY MUMMY THAT I KNOW?
CAN YOU BE THE USUAL SELF?
I PLEAD YOU/

WHO CAN GIVE ME BACK MY HAPPY FAMILY?

#247

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go

LADY LUCK PLS

recently my luck have been changing
from bad to worst

WA LAO
i was sleeping soundly and i received calls from that CB.
woke me up from my beauty sleep.
i kup, kup, kup ,kup. i even off my phone
he still dont give up.
*good determination ah*

BEST HE CALLED MY HOUSE.


NO WONDER MY LUCK IS NOT WITH ME LA.
NABEI!

HELLO, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SAY YOU DONT WANT YOUR THINGS BACK WHEN I SAID WANNA GIVE YOU BACK.
NOW YOU WANTED IT ALL BACK
WHAT A GOOD GENTLEMAN YOU ARE.

whatever
女人不记小人过

i dont know why i'm feeling so down nowadays.
i think my menses is coming.

Bike Cleaning

BIKE CLEANING

we were chit chatting and suddenly we have the urged to help cleaning and polishing Nicholas's sweetie.

the aftermath

i used my nails to scrap off the white dottie paint and now the exhaust goes "bling bling"


p/s pardon me for my unglam photos because this is how i looked normally. bo bian.

my hands ached from carrying stuffs at TWS.
i felt so weak.

MJ-ing later.
WEE U WEE!~~~~~~

never,

Love is a haunting melody
That I have never mastered

pcb

do you know its fucking sad when you are only remembered when people choose to remember you?

yes, i'm always the one who people only choose to remember if they still remember me.

whatever.
do i look like a fucking substitution or
a pcb companion?


P/s this post have nothing to do with kim hock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i have fun chatting with lynn and nic at lynn's house voideck.
her grandma trying to get her attention using bread but she is still staring in blank when she was young,
a patient in IMH ask her whether she the girl from lesbian.com.
all sort of funny stuffs from her.
it been so long that i feel that contented.

died-hair

new dyed hair.
t
he colour look nice in the pic but apart from real life,
my top was much more golden than the roots.
all thanks to my sis, T.T

and finally, my phone have audio again!